I've kinda done a horrible but seemingly necessary thing. I've applied to go back to school.
I'll talk about my (admittedly ridiculous?) reasons for doing this in another email, but it's weird. I'm actually doing it. After my life has revolved around my kids for most of my adult life, I'm sitting in a classroom now. After almost 15 years. It's insane.
What's more insane is that I'm starting my degree from scratch after already earning 40 credits before I had kids. Since almost none of those credits transfer over to what I (now) want to do.
Basically, now that I have so much to do, I can't be writing all day anymore.
But it go to a point where a lot was happening at one time. I had just started school, AND we were moving, AND I had to recover and finally go in for surgery for a kidney stone (after being practically bedridden for almost 3 months. Yes, I had to wait that long to remove the thing). AND I had 2 kids who have a birthday in the same weekend.
And then there's this! THIS newsletter...
I went weeks not writing anything for The Reset Gazette. Until finally, yesterday in the middle of acting class, the professor asked "what do you WANT? What's the core of what you want right now?"
And all I thought of was, I'm angry that I haven't been writing my newsletter!
But life shouldn't get in the way of a daily writing (or other creative commitment).
Life shouldn't interrupt your creative drive. Life should fuel it.
It's not that my brain wasn't making the connections, because it was. I just kept convincing myself I didn't have time. I'll get to it later.
I decided today that I simply can't do another thing until I write an email for 10 minutes.
Why? Because if I don't, it's going to start to affect my mental health. Everything else we do in life is for a teacher, a boss, a partner, kids, parents, etc. Even, eventually, for an audience.
Yes, it can be hard when the audience isn't really there yet. Heck, even when an audience is there, sometimes imposter syndrome creeps in and we get convinced no one wants to hear from us. As I was devouring Amy Poehler's book, she wrote something like "no one will probably read this and I don't even care."
Maybe it's not our job to care. Maybe, just maybe, we're meant to show up for ourselves. Like a kid in a sandbox.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it:
Show up for your sandbox.
Haven't been in your studio lately? Get angry.
Dragging your feet resuming that project? Get angry.
Get angry and finally show up for yourself.
If you truly are busy, set up a timer for 10 minutes.
Let's see how "busy" you are...
Ta-ta for now,
Alina Medina
The Reset Gazette
P.S. Isn't it funny that we can convince ourselves that we don't have time to create, but we have time for "one more" Youtube video?
Get angry. Take back your time.
P.P.S. I feel much better now :)
